Vent a Day: Broke Bridesmaid

Broke bridesmaid is broke. But she's also clueless about wedding. She's honest about her cluelessness, emailing me to say just tell her how things work. So I do, including that it's usual (though not required) to co-host the shower. She opts not to co-host, which is fine. Then she accepts invitations to 2 showers. And complains about putting in money for the bachelorette. And complains about buying shower gifts. Um ... you don't have to attend either shower. Nor is it required to become a bridesmaid.

In other words, I am not the person to complain to. But I can't believe how many people have emailed and phoned me with such random complains. Maybe I seem like a sympathetic ear because I just listen? But when you complain you're broke, Future Sister-In-Law of the Bride, but tell me you just paid $1,000 to be a vendor at an uncoming bridal exhibition, I don't have much sympathy. You've known about The Bride's shower and bachelorette for 2 months, and it's another month.

Vent a Day: Bridezilla

The Bride today told me she's going to buy us all matching jewellery as our wedding gift. When I got married, I specifically told me bridesmaids to wear their own jewellery because I like their taste. Plus, I added, it's considered rude to give the bridesmaids a gift that is in fact part of their "uniform" for the day. (Because it is rude to do that.)

So what does she do?

Just that.

Oh, but we get to pick our own earrings, as long as they're not flashy or shiny. Or feathers. And are silver.

Source: http://www.duonam.com/

(At least I get to pick my own hair style.)

What do we want to do for the bachelorette?

I emailed the bridesmaids and bachelorette guests what they wanted to do for the bachelorette. I just want to know what most people are willing to spend.


Oops, I opened up a can of worms. Now, I have girls emailing me with their opinions.


Okay, I wanted opinions. And most people's feedback is useful. Most people want to go to a spa and get a small treatment. Most people want to put in $10-$15 for the bride's spa day. Most people want to get a limo. Most people want to go out to a nice dinner.




But I'm getting some confusing responses, too.

Me: Do we want to get a limo to drive us around town? It'll be a bit more expensive than cabbing it each way, but it'll be way more luxurious.
Jen: Can't we ask someone who's not coming to drive us around?

Huh? Does she mean someone's husband or boy-friend? And for a group of 20 women, that's going to be more than one someone to drive us around.


Me: If we get a limo, it'll cost $50-$60 each, depending on how many are interested.
Sam: I really want to get a limo, but I can only put in $40 towards the limo.

Huh? Am I supposed to make up the difference in cost?


Are they getting confused, thinking they must come? Do they think I'm rich and going to make up the cost for them? Or maybe they think I've overestimated the cost, so they can haggle?

I'm a Bridesmaid. Or rather, Bride's Maid.

I was married in June 2009. My best friend, and maid of honour, is getting married 2 years (minus 2 days) after me. And I'm her matron of honour.

What an honour!

But what HELL some of the planning is turning out to be. Between a bridesmaid who won't contribute one CENT to the shower (but yet wants us to incorporate her ideas) to a bride who wants me to be her maid and do a LOT more than I ever asked of her ...

Here it is. Brutal honesty. An outlet for me. And hopefully, a little humour for you.